You will never now become a rock star or regain the waist size you had at 18. You have taken a sudden interest in bleeding your radiators, listening to The Money Programme and figuring out the best route to anywhere in the country. On the bright side, you can look forward to cheaper car insurance, and it's only ten years until you can book your first Saga holiday! You can take delight in the fact that you will never again have to sleep in a muddy field at Glastonbury, stay up all night at a party, or pretend to like Tequila Slammers.
Mike Haskins is a comedy writer for TV and radio. He has written for Steve Coogan, Simon Pegg, Alistair McGowan, Monkey Dust, Smack the Pony, Punt and Dennis' It's Been a Bad Week and Dead Ringers and has worked closely with Griff Rhys Jones on Smith and Jones, amongst others. Clive Wichelow is a journalist and comedy writer. He has written for Rory Bremner, Jonathan Ross, Spitting Image and many others as well as for The Mail on Sunday, the Daily Express and the Daily Mirror. Andy Hammond has been a successful cartoonist for over 20 years and has produced illustrations for Mars, the National Lottery, Tetley Tea and Disney UK.