Ask any parent what they want for their kids, and health and happiness usually come out on top. So it was sad to learn that the UK came last in a report from UNICEF* assessing the wellbeing of children across 21 industrialised countries.
A lot of the measures used apply to older children, and consider things like education, smoking and drug abuse – matters we’re sure are a distant worry with your toddler! But the report also looked at the quality of friend and family relationships, and children’s own views of their wellbeing. Fewer than 50 per cent of children in the UK, for example, felt their peers were ‘kind and helpful’,
so there is great room for improvement in friendship and relationship-building skills.
It makes sense to think now about how to improve the happiness levels in your own family. Just as you immunise your children against illness, you can inject the feel-good emotional factors to protect them for the future. After all, if we do our best to raise emotionally balanced, happy children, we can make a difference.
Lifestyle factors:
• A daily routine makes tots feel secure. Introduce regular mealtimes and a bedtime that allows your two-year-old to get her recommended 11 hours of sleep a night (plus a two-hour nap every day).
• If there’s a telly in your little one’s room, get rid of it! Too much TV saps concentration and reduces activity.
• If you smoke, try to stop. Your tot will be passively smoking hundreds of cigarettes a year, and will be more likely to smoke in the future.
• Your child will also benefit from time spent on fun family activities, and from being given some responsibility appropriate to her age: tidying her toys or putting her coat on, for example.
Top 5 happiness boosters
Unconditional love Showing affection through hugs, kisses and gentle contact is vital. Having fun together; encouraging your toddler’s natural enthusiasm and responding to her needs all build emotional wellbeing that lasts.
Good communication Making time to listen when your child wants to talk; encouraging talking in a positive, respectful way in your family; looking at feelings and behaviour; and helping your child explain how she feels: “I’m happy” or “I feel angry”, are vital skills both now and in the future.
Teaching her how to get along with others Helping your two-year-old to develop ‘empathy’ (the ability to understand others’ feelings) and teaching him how to share, take turns and co-operate will help him get along with other children. Do this first by setting a good example, by sympathising with your child’s fears and frustrations; then by helping him act sensitively with others. Getting along with other kids and learning to give and take will pay off as your tot develops good friendships in the future.
Building confidence and self-esteem Develop a ‘can-do’ attitude in your child by giving specific praise and positive attention. Encourage independence by urging him to have a go at simple tasks and new challenges. This will build ‘emotional intelligence’ (an awareness of his own feelings and those of others) and enable him to handle strong emotions and manage frustrations – all the basis of good self-esteem.
Encouraging optimism and dealing with disappointment You can help your child to look on the bright side by demonstrating this yourself, and using positive talk. Try to avoid negative expressions like “It’s all too much!” or “I can’t cope!” Celebrate family occasions, and build excitement by looking forward to them. Offer comfort and sympathy for setbacks, but encourage your tot to try again.
*Child Poverty in Perspective: An Overview of Child Well-being in Rich Countries.