Going it alone
For almost every parent, toddlerhood comes as a rude shock, and maybe even more so when you’re on your own. Your sweet cherub grows horns, starts drawing on walls and decides she only likes yellow food. Life becomes ripe with drama and high emotion as “no” becomes her favourite word.
Parent support network
While partnered parents pity us singletons for having to do it on our own, most of us pity them right back. How on earth do they find the time to be parents and maintain a relationship? Of course single parenting is not without its drawbacks. There’s no live-in partner to share the milestones with – and there are lots of them at this age. Having people around who’ll also be excited that Poppy has taken her first step is vital.
Become a groupie
If you’re at home, it’s important to seek out other grown-ups to talk to before your vocabulary becomes stunted by toddler-babble. The chat at mums’ groups often revolves around children and husbands – mainly that having one (a husband) is pretty much the same as having the other (a kid) – so look for a single parents’ group instead.
If you can’t find one, start your own. The Internet, with its forums and message boards, has made it easy to connect with other single parents. With around 3.2 million lone parent households in Britain, there are plenty of us out there.
How to thrive as a single parent
• Look after yourself. Eat healthily and take regular exercise.
• Trade babysitting favours with friends and family.
• Think about your possible response to questions about the baby’s father. There will be lots over the years, so, for your own sake, be prepared.
• Create a supportive network of other single parents.
• Never be too proud to ask for help and never turn down offers.
• Have a childcare plan in place long before you return to work.
• Love and security are more important to a toddler than having the latest gear. Save now for the expensive years to come!
Ground control
Being the sole parent of a toddler is a lot like being an air traffic controller. It’s high stress, you’ve only got one pair of eyes to check on a multitude of factors and the potential for disaster is great. On the other hand, the rewards are far greater. I’m sure there aren’t too many air traffic controllers who get hugs, finger paintings or gappy smiles all to themselves in return for their work.
For more practical tips and advice on single parenting, visit our Ask an expert section.
