"I wrench Lola off the boob and leave her screaming in her car seat"
Becky discovers the joy of of online shopping, gets the runaround from a mischevious Jack and discovers she may be anaemic.
Week 4: Baby calming, Mike-style
Lola does her first smile on Tuesday, the day she turns four weeks old. I still feel rubbish – knackered, sore and grumpy, so her sweet little smile gives me a big boost.
Can’t face taking Lola and Jack to the supermarket, so I do my first online shop at Tesco.com this week. Although it takes me nearly two hours to select a week’s groceries, I find it strangely enjoyable, and from now on it should be loads quicker as my favourites are all stored online. When the polite, good-looking delivery man turns up the next day, I even attempt a little light flirting. After he goes I glance in the mirror and discover a big blob of foundation that I’ve failed to rub in bang in the middle of my forehead.
Although Lola is an easy baby most of the time, she does do her fair share of crying, especially when I’m not around to whip out my boobs. I go to get my hair cut on Saturday and leave Mike with all three kids. Expecting a scene of carnage when I return, I am surprised to enter a silent house. Jed and Jack are watching a DVD and Mike is lying on the sofa reading a paper with Lola lying on top of him. I discover his secret when he moves the newspaper to reveal Lola sucking vigorously on one of Jack’s giant dummies. Although annoyed, I can’t stop myself giggling.
Week 5: Time to join a gym
My pregnant friend Lara comes over for lunch. She’s the latest visitor to arrive bearing pink outfits for Lola. I don’t tell her that Lola’s chest of drawers is already bursting at the seams: as well as all the gifts, several friends have donated gorgeous stuff outgrown by their own girls. Not even two months old and Lola has more clothes than me!
On Thursday we venture out to a local soft play place with my friend IJ and her kids. Jack has great fun bouncing about and jumping on the bouncy castle. I sit on a giant inflatable teddy bear and breastfeed Lola until I see Jack heading up the steep ladder leading to the over-7s spooky castle, 20 feet up. Worried that he’ll hurt himself, I wrench Lola off the boob and leave her screaming in her car seat as I scramble up after him but he is too quick for me. After navigating various rope ladders and tunnels, I arrive at the top, red-faced, sweaty and exhausted, just in time to see Jack on the spiral slide shooting back down to the ground.
Week 6: All’s well that ends well
I’ve been feeling pretty weird for a couple of weeks now – dizzy and heavy-headed – then on Tuesday I nearly faint while out shopping with Lola and Jack. Have to stagger into the nearest shop and ask if I can sit down and have a glass of water. My vision has also been doing strange things, now and then turning everything misty and pale. Mike puts it down to dirty lenses in my glasses but being a total hypochondriac, I am beginning to panic.
Lola and I have our six-week check the next day, so I pluck up the courage to ask the doctor about it. “Classic symptoms of low blood pressure,” she says. Apparently I need to drink loads of water and eat other stuff besides biscuits and toast. Taking a look at the inner rims of my eyelids, which are really pale, she suspects I’m anaemic too: if a blood test proves it, some iron tablets should sort me out. Lola is pronounced fit and well. Phew.