Returning to work

Going back to work after having a baby can be tough. Aside from the guilt and worry many of us feel, there’s the fear of going back into a working environment and feeling like a complete novice! Here we look at some ways to make your return to work easier for you, your baby and your partner.

The emotional transition

It can be a big shock to the system (for mum and baby) to suddenly go from being together all the time to being separated. So as the time approaches for you to go back to work, make sure you build up to being apart gradually.

The key thing is to take it slowly. Your baby needs to become familiar with the surroundings and people you’re going to be leaving him with. If you just show up at nursery or the child minder’s house on day one, leave your baby there and go to work, both of you are likely to be distraught. So, in the weeks leading up to your return, spend regular time with his new carer. This will help him to become attached to someone other than you, and familiar with a new environment.

Most children cry when mummy or daddy leaves. This usually lasts just a few minutes. Sometimes they also cry when you pick them up – this can be a combination of protest and relief. Speak to your child’s carer about what happens in between you leaving and coming back. If, after a few weeks, your child seems really unhappy, talk to the carer about how to improve things, and if necessary look at alternative childcare arrangements.

Talk to friends who have returned to work and see how they coped with those first days and weeks of being away from their baby. You’ll probably find that once they got over those initial pangs of wanting to be with their child, they enjoyed rediscovering some time on their own.

Visit your workplace – you’ll see that things probably aren’t that different from when you left and it’ll reduce those first day nerves of going back in. Chat to colleagues about any changes that have taken place so you don’t feel too out of the loop.

The practical side to things

Early planning is essential for mums returning to work. Perhaps the most important thing you need to decide is who will look after your baby. Workplace flexibility, finances and availability of a nursery place may certainly drive your decision, but so too will the emotional choice of where you’d ideally like your baby to be when you’re not around. Here you’ll find a step-by-step guide to childcare, detailing the average costs and pros and cons of different childcare options.

Update your CV. If you’re returning to work, update your CV and read over it – you’ll remember just how much you achieved before your baby arrived, and it’s a great confidence booster.

Know your rights. You may be able to return part time, fix a job-share, or work flexitime (a fixed number of hours but with some flexibility about when you are in the office). You could explore working from home one or two days a week, or working compressed hours – the same hours overall, but some long and some shorter days. At the very least, your employer is legally obliged to take your request for flexible working seriously, so talk through possible solutions with your boss or human resources manager. To find out if you qualify for flexible working, take a look at the Government’s employment guidelines here.

Do a dummy run to your workplace at the time of day you’ll be travelling. This will give you an idea of how much time you need to allow if you are dropping your baby off somewhere.

Be prepared. Your baby will need you to be even more prepared than you are already (hard to imagine for many mums!), so think about preparing meals weeks in advance and freezing them (if your baby is on solids). It’s also good to get into the habit of preparing your baby’s changing bag the night before, so all you need to do is pick it up and go.

Don't expect to be back on full throttle in the first months of returning to work. Most women feel very unconfident after maternity leave. You may still be having broken nights and you might feel your brain (and body) have turned to mush. Try to build catch-up time into your day, and be honest: ask colleagues openly for their understanding and patience. You’re only human.

Continue to breastfeed if you want. It is possible to breastfeed and return to work if you are happy to express milk. Before you go back, get your baby used to taking milk from a bottle or cup – this may take a few weeks or even longer, so start early. At work, find a private place (many women end up in the loo) and express milk using a breast pump. Keep it cool then freeze it once you’re home for daytime feeds. Even if you just breastfeed in the mornings and evenings, this can be a lovely way to bond when you’ve been separated during the day. Contact La Lèche League, or the Association of Breastfeeding Mothers, for information and tips.