“I juggle shiftwork to look after my girls”

Debbie Lovern, 31, is a police officer. She lives in Caversham, Berkshire, with her husband Keith and daughters Hailey, three, and Isabelle, nine months. 

“I didn’t go back to work for the money – I did it because I love my job,” says Debbie. “I think I would really have regretted leaving my career in the police force behind.

“However, I have cut my hours right down, and my husband’s employers have also let him work flexible hours. I now work two evenings, when Keith finishes work early to take over at home, plus I work one full day a week, when both Hailey and Isabelle go to a child minder. Although my priority is the girls, I love the stimulation the job gives me. If I’m honest, I found there were only so many times I could sing ‘Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star’ in a day with real enthusiasm! I needed something else in my life.

“We’re lucky that both sets of employers have been very flexible, so we only need one day of childcare a week. However, there are downsides: our house is a permanent mess, which drives me bonkers. And feeding the girls healthy, made-from-scratch food is sometimes a struggle because of my shifts.”

The benefits for baby: “Most of the time Hailey and Isabelle are home with either parent.”
The benefits for me: “I don’t suffer from ‘nappy brain’ and I feel I can still do my job just as well. That’s great for my confidence.”
My advice to mums: “Talk to your employer about building flexibility into your working week.”
Cost: £37 per child for one day.

“I’ve gone back full time”

Kerrin St Omer, 28, is an independent mortgage adviser. She lives in northwest London with her partner and three children. Her baby Keira is 10 months and Kerrin has gone back to work full time. She is able to work flexible hours from home or in the office.

“The main reason I’ve gone back full time is that I need to earn money to buy a bigger house,” says Kerrin. As well as Keira, I have two older boys – Donnell, 10, and Nathan, two. At the moment we live in a two-bedroom house with no outside space. I want to give my children a bedroom each and a garden they can play in.

“My mum looks after Keira five days a week, and Nathan is at nursery in the mornings. The biggest plus point about my job is flexibility. I plan my own hours, I can work from home, plus there’s an office base so I don’t feel isolated, and I’m part of a team.

“I like my job and it makes me happy. It’s a new challenge and it’s my dream of a better life and bigger home that’s keeping me working hard. The one downside is that my partner and I haven’t always got the time we need for each other.”

The benefits for baby: “Keira and her grandma adore each other, so our childcare arrangement is good for the whole family.”
The benefits for me: “My job’s flexibility allows me to plan my days. If I have to take the children to the doctor, for instance, I don’t have to ask for time off.”
My advice to mums: “I couldn’t survive without a big calendar on the wall where I write down all our family commitments. It’s important, too, to fit in time alone with your partner – just going out to the cinema or having dinner together.”
Cost: “None, because my mum is my child minder.”

“I decided to stay at home”

Victoria Saword, 27, enjoyed working as a skincare technician in a beauty salon before becoming a mum. She lives in Manchester with her husband and their seven-month-old son, Oliver. After she gave birth to Oliver, she made the decision not to return to work.

“I wanted to be a stay-at-home mum, and I was lucky that my husband earned enough for us to make that decision,” says Victoria.

“I loved my job but I’ve really enjoyed throwing myself into my role as a full-time mum. I’ve also just found out I’m pregnant with our next child, so that’s another massive reason for not rushing back to work just yet. However, I’ve found that you have to be very focused and organised to make staying at home work well.

“When you have a baby it’s a real shock to the system. Oliver was poorly when he was born and was rushed to intensive care, where they found he had pneumonia. He was there for five days. I found it very hard to accept that he was ill, and his illness was the main reason I decided not to go back to work.

“I’ve had to deal with the loneliness that comes with being a full-time mum. I felt as though I was going a bit mad when I stopped breastfeeding, but talking to friends helped.”

The benefits for baby: “I think it’s been great for Oliver to have me to rely on full time.”
The benefits for me: “It’s been wonderful to relax into my new role and plan for the future without worrying about childcare and juggling two jobs.”
My advice to other mums: “Sign up for baby massage classes and get together with other new-mum friends as often as you can. And get into internet shopping!”
Cost: None.

Your options

Under employment legislation* employees have the right to ask to work flexibly and employers are obliged to consider any request seriously. Here are some ways that parents may be able to work and avoid the nine-to-five:

Job sharing
Turn a full-time job into two halves, and split your responsibilities with another part-time employee who works on the days you don’t.

Flexitime
Flexible working schemes allow you to ‘bank’ extra hours and take days off, or work shorter days, in lieu. You may be able to vary your start and finish times to fit in with your childcare arrangements. For information and advice on how to ask your employer to consider a request for flexible working, contact Working Families at http://www.workingfamilies.org.uk/ or call 020 7253 7243.

Working from home ‘Remote’ or ‘teleworking’ will cut down on commuting time – leaving you more time to spend with your baby.

Changes to maternity leave

New legislation means employers now have to offer permanent staff up to a year of maternity leave, regardless of how long they’ve worked for the company. And Statutory Maternity Pay is now paid for a total of 39 weeks (previously 26 weeks). But look in the small print and you’ll notice you do have to pay tax and National Insurance on maternity pay. Find out more at www.direct.gov.uk

To explore your returning to work options further, see our guide to childcare options.

*Employment Rights Act 2002